Some templates help screenwriters build depth to any character they create. All are based on human behavior and psychology. I am adding a lot of this material as a small portion of my masterclass as a way for people to identify their strengths and weaknesses and how to use those to build wealth. Today I’m going to focus on one of those templates, the Drama Triangle. The Drama Triangle is built on fears and how a character may react to those fears. I feel today more than ever, most people can relate to the victim portion of the triangle, including myself.
Often we can get caught up in “if only” statements. Where we become frozen by outside forces that control our destiny. If only I were rich. If only I lived in a different place. If only I was somebody else things would be better.
I’ll be honest with you, I have been wallowing in this mindset for the last few weeks. It is incredibly debilitating, as you can get yourself so wrapped up in these statements that you become depressed and in some cases can’t get anything done. For me it’s been, if only my wife hadn’t had a stroke I’d have more time for my business. If only the lockdowns weren’t in place my family could drive across the border to help out. If only I lived in a tropical location, I could go outside all the time where I’m most happy. And on and on…
The trick is to identify when you’re in this place… playing the victim. The thing is everyone has issues. Some heavier than others. But if you catch yourself in this victim state, you have to first come up with what would make you happy and create paths to escape. And for the things I mentioned, that isn’t going to happen overnight.
I do find that if I carve out a minimum of one hour a day to work on my business, I’m happier the rest of the day. I’m creating something that other people value and that gives me the energy to get through the rest of my day. To do this, I have to get up at 5:30 am or 6 am to get anything significant done…. And that is where I’ve caught myself the last 3 weeks. I’ve been red-lining it too long which has caused me to become physically and mentally exhausted. This led to sleeping in, which led to not getting as much done on the business, which then reduces energy to get through the day… and by the time I’m done with work and taking care of everyone else, it’s time to do it all over again. And the weekends aren’t a break either and so I struggle to get out of bed to face the day.
The next trick I found was to cut myself some slack. I’ve been redlining it for 7 months and I need to allow myself to sleep in a bit, take a “mental health day” here and there from work (when the kids are at school), so I can get back to those 5:30 am days that give me energy.
All of this will lead to good things down the road, which means I need to have patience. Yes, there is a chance my wife will not make a 100% recovery, but that isn’t going to stop us from living a happy life or better yet continually trying to achieve 100% recovery. Yes, there’s a chance people will still want masks and lockdowns even with a vaccine, but that doesn’t mean I have to live in these oppressive countries.
How does this relate to you?
I think everyone these days can be caught up in the victim’s state of mind. The lockdowns have given us all pause. Some of you may be saying, if only the pandemic hadn’t hit, I would still have my job or I would have seen my dying relative one last time, or simply just to see relatives or friends. Whatever the case, we have all suffered an incredible loss this last year at the hands of the government lockdowns. Even if you’re in a free country, the more oppressive countries’ lockdowns hit the supply chain and affected your business too. Or your relationships with relatives in a locked-down country. It affected everyone on earth in one form or another.
And when you layer that on top of every day” shit happens”… it’s a lot!
The point is we have to identify what is giving us this victim mindset and create something that energizes you, creates space for yourself, and trust that the things you are doing today will help you push through the “what if” statements for a better tomorrow.
Some of my blogs may even send you into this mindset if you aren’t careful and understand the purpose of highlighting these injustices in the world. I know when I first started learning about the monetary system, it made me angry. But as I learned how to adapt to these things that are out of my control I became energized. I highlight Braveheart on my website for this very reason, “It’s all for nothing if you don’t have freedom.” We could dwell on the “what if” statements of the world… Or create ways to counteract these injustices and fight for freedom! By fighting for freedom whether it’s your financial freedom or your basic human rights, kills that victim mindset because you’re doing something about it. You’re creating a pathway for yourself and others. I guess that’s why when I work on my business an hour a day, in a small way I’m helping people build toward their financial freedom and highlighting injustices (that all lead back to money/power grabs) that the media doesn’t highlight to hopefully spread the message of truth.
And we can even take it a step further to melt away “if only’s.” We still have some elements of freedom. Freedom of speech is under attack and I couldn’t say these things if that didn’t still exist in some form, but if I had a bigger audience there is a very strong possibility that I would be silenced by being de-platformed. The government and large corporations are colluding to steal our freedoms. So while we shouldn’t wallow in the, “if only” government was less powerful, or if only the fed was abolished… we still have enough freedom to fight back!
So think about how you may be saying “if only” to yourself. What are you going to do about it, and remember to cut yourself some slack when you become overwhelmed.